I began my day with a cup of coffee that I brewed in the large kitchen. I made myself a full spread for breakfast, anything that I could find in the fridge. After that, I watched television for a little while on the 70-inch TV, with a glorious picture. I decided to shower and get ready for the day. The walk-in shower, featuring different temperature settings and heated floors, is a nice touch in the bathroom. I made my way into the walk-in closet, which houses some of the nicest clothes I've ever seen. I tried on a few things before deciding on what to wear for the big day. I grabbed the Tesla keys from the keyring by the garage door. The Tesla is beautiful, and I decided to go meet some of my friends for a great day.
Everything was going great; I was having drinks and feeling good about how the day was going. All of a sudden, the place that we were at became swarmed with cops, sirens so loud I could barely hear my friend's hilarious joke. "Damn, wouldn't want to be the guy they're looking for".
The next thing I know, I am in cuffs, and I tell them they have got the wrong guy.
They ask me one question. Is it your birthday today? I say yes, and now I'm spending the next 25 years in jail because I guess it's "not my house" and "I broke in?" Sorry for wanting to have a good birthday, sue me?
Update: After I said that, they are so happy. Happy birthday to me.