Payment Plan

"Ok, let me get this straight. You want to pay for half right now and then pay for the other half later?" 

"That's exactly right, see that wasn't so hard. I'll pay for half of it now and the other half in a couple of months when I save up some money." 

"Uhhhhh, we don't really do that." 

"What do you mean, you can run my credit or whatever you need to do, but I know I can set up a payment plan. If I need to, I will take half of it now and the other half when I pay the rest, but you have to let me pick which half I get now." 


"Ma'am, this is a dog shelter."






Peculiar: Part 1

Gerald was a slight man, so much so that it would not be uncommon for it to seem as if he appeared in the room by magic. In reality, he would make his way ever so swiftly into the room that it was as though his entrance was undetected. Why was this a big deal? It wasn't really, but it was not uncommon for someone to scream or jump out of their seat because they were startled by the presence of Gerald. He has grown accustomed to it at this point, and now he makes a point to announce his presence when entering a room to avoid any mishaps. His sister said that it has always been an issue and can't put her finger on exactly why he is so unnoticed. She agrees that he is slight, but there are many slight folks, so why is Gerald different? This was a good question, one that Gerald asked himself often, but he knew he couldn't dwell on it. It was not something that really bothered him - well, until recently. 

Something was wrong the night before, and he could feel it. It started when he was headed to wind down for the night, he was only able to locate his right slipper, the one with the slight hole around the big toe, but the left one was nowhere to be found. This was peculiar because his left slipper was always in the same place, to the left of the right. Luckily, this didn't derail Gerald's night, and he proceeded to run the bath that he does around this time of night. But just as he was about to turn the knob, it came off and fell into the tub. There was a screw there that Gerald thought he could turn with some pliers, but this bath had started to sound more like work than relaxation, so he decided that the bath would probably get cold too quickly anyway, and it ultimately wouldn't be worth it. In the back of his mind, he does wish that the bath was easier tonight because he does like baths. His nightly television shows surely can't disappoint, right? As he sits in his chair like he always does, the television suddenly goes black, and his phone rings.

Swallow the Fire

Whatever you are feeding me, it is creating a large fire within me. 

When I talk, I have no choice but to breathe fire. 

When I hit the atmosphere of the world outside, I turn to ice until I am fed again. 

Then the cycle continues until I burn up for good.  

Afternoon Stroll

Last week, I was strolling down the avenue and I came across something that has to be seen to be believed. 


I was minding my own business, not walking a dog because I'm not that kind of person, and I saw three women moving slowly while putting on makeup furiously. If it wasn't before, it had certainly become a race, not a distance, but lipstick.


The craziest thing is that they all got hit by a bus, and so the race was over. 


Disappointing, though, they were really starting to build a foundation.